Plastic Fantastic

Posted: September 19, 2014 in My Journey
Tags: ,

I have never been one for the fake look i.e.. PLASTIC SURGERY but it seems because they want to mutilate my body by removing my right breast which has the cancer in it, it seems like the only option left now – something just isn’t sitting right with me AT ALL! I was born with my breast I will die with them, whether that be in five years or twenty five years my girls are part of me.

Sat in the clinic imagining the horrific things they are wanted to do to me CHEMOTHERAPY AND A MASTECTOMY all at 33 this is just too much to handle I can’t be actually going through this. What bollocks! I’m absolutely petrified as I’m sat here a lady walks out the consultants room, she couldn’t have been no more than 23. Tears in her eyes and her hair slightly thinning on top. OMG I turn to my mum who is sat there with my partner Andrew chatting away oblivious to anything going on around them “I Can’t do this mum…. I really cant”. The thought of going through Chemo was my worst nightmare IT WASN’T THE CANCER THE I WAS SCARED OF BUT THE CHEMO.

“Kelly…….” My name was being called but it just wasn’t registering.

As I walked into the Plastic Surgeons room I began to sweat.  Great. The worst time to start sweating when the surgeon is going to be touching private parts of my body. I greet him with a nervous smile, knowing I don’t really want to be here and he welcomes me like any other piece of meat passing through the door.

Now it was time to get naked. How embarrassing not only am I sweating like a fat kid in a cake shop but now he wants me to totally strip down to my thong so he can pinch and grab at my tiny size 8 body. “Forgive the sweat” I say nervously as he starts to grab parts of my body. After ten minutes of groping me he came to the conclusion that I don’t have enough skin or meat. Now this is the only time my slim frame has let me down. The only option was to do a transverse upper gracilis known as A TUG. This procedure uses tissue from the inner portion of the upper thigh (just under the groin crease) to reconstruct a “natural”, warm, soft breast. So not only would I have a huge chunk cut out of my inner thigh but I would have a weird looking boob….with no nipple! This is not happening – not to me. But oh there is a light at the end of the tunnel….. A FAKE NIPPLE! That’s all I need, knowing me it would fall off in the heat of passion. What a turn off! (I know a lot are probably thinking how vain can you be you have breast cancer….. Well the answer is IM 33 in a healthy relationship and very self conscious of my body OF COURSE IM VAIN).

As the surgeon was talking about options the only thing going through my head was” I’M NOT HAVING A MASTECTOMY NO WAY IN HELL” everything he said went in one ear out the other.

My mind was already made up IM GOING TO CURE MYSELF NATURALLY

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