How do I tell my loved ones?

Posted: September 10, 2014 in My Journey
Tags: , , , , ,

I was a bit of a wimp when it came to telling friends…I announced it on my Facebook! Yes the very same social media platform people post status’ about taking a shit and what they’ve had for dinner…it was the only way I could reach all my friends and to be very honest the love and support i was being shown was overwhelming, it amazed me how many people offered their support and condolences.

But it was time to tell those who really mattered …. My parents, my siblings, my family and my partner Andrew. This was going to be very difficult, I didn’t know what to say to them. The fear of rejection was at the forefront of my mind. I was petrified! Still am.

First point of contact…MUMMY.

As i dialled her number my stomach flipped…how the fuck do i tell my mum her first born has breast cancer? As the phone rang i took a deep breath, then she answered. I could tell her heart was breaking i could hear it in her voice. “Mum its going to be OK” I tried to reassure her…although in the back of my head I was thinking “I’M GOING TO DIE” all I wanted to do was get off the phone and run away, but that wasn’t going to be the answer.

Now i had to tell Andrew. This man had been through a lot with me and I didn’t know how he would take it, I was so scared that i would lose him over this, but he just sweetly told me “Babe we will get through this”. A wave of relief came over me. I knew this news would have an impact on our relationship just how much I’m still not sure. But he has been so supportive in my illness and I appreciate the kind of man I’ve been blessed with. Especially on this hard journey to recovery.

My siblings have taken it very well we have had a few tears but its only expected when a family member is struck down with such a vile disease. My brother Billy has signed himself up for SOBER FOR OCTOBER which is a big thing for him as he is a uni student who loves to get rat arsed…which student doesn’t?

But the worst of all.. How was I going to tell Logan, my 14 year old son?

I didn’t know what to say,how to say it or when. He was my first born and we had been through so much together in the years before I meet Andrew. How could i break his heart and at such a sensitive time in his life when he was getting ready to study for his GCSE exams. Do I leave it and wait until I knew more or do I just get it over with and pluck up the courage and tell him.

I sat him down and explained and to be quite honest he took it very well. He threw his big arms round me and told me he loved me. My baby had grown into a young man right in front of my eyes. He didn’t cry – well not that he let me see. He was so strong and I am very proud of the young man he is.

Oh god next i had to tell my best friend Molly. Now she took it bad.

I have known Molly since we were 6. We both grew up in Bethnal Green and we have been friends for over 27 years….and in those 27 years we got up to things our mothers would have disapproved of to say the least. Now Molly just didn’t believe me when i told her she thought I was joking. Being the morbid person i am. But when i told her i could her in her voice the same thing I hear in most peoples voices “I don’t know what to say to you”. I’m actually dreading what she is going to be like when shit really hits the fan – tissues at the ready.

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